A Special NeedI'd have to say there were alot of baby-boomers that watched the same. Wow could you feel for the children and the families! And who could not beat that Jost that stayed with the program all the years. . so charming..so witty..so sincere. In the year 2003 my husband & I were driving through our neighborhood and spotted the volunteer firemen doing their job on one of the main intersections. Here they were holding up that black boot for people to fill with donations.
FILL UP THAT BOOT HONEY..
MAYBE WE CAN HELP SOMEWAY.
SOMETIMES ALL WE CAN DO IS PRAY.
THERE ARE SOME PEOPLE WHO DO NOT GIVE A HOOT..AND FOR THEM...JUST GIVE THEM THE BOOT!
Wow!
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got a problem with me press Alt+F4
oh and, theres a caps lock button. press that one more time, then maybe YOUR POEMS WONT ALL LOOK LIKE YOURE CONSTIPATED.
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<img src="http://epenis.eu/show/14311/epenis.png">
BECAUSE YOU ARE NEW I THOUGHT YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT THIS SITE IS SOMETIMES INFESTED WITH TOILET BUGS, AND OTHER CRUSTACIANS WHO OFFER NO CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM WHATSOEVER. YOU CAN FLUSH THESE GUYS AT WILL BY LOGGING IN AND THEN CLICKING "EDIT PROFILE" ON THE RIGHT...THEN CLICK THE "USER PAGE DISPLAY" TAB. WHERE IT SAYS "BLOCKED USERS" YOU CAN ADD "Lunatock" IN THAT LITTLE BOX. WHEN YOU SPELL LUNATOCK PLEASE DO NOT FORGET TO REMOVE THE CAPS LOCK.
AND P.S. LUNATOCK: I ALREADY PREFLUSHED YOU ON MY OWN SITE AND YOU CAN'T CRAWL BACK UP....MWAAHAHA!
He wrote: "Try to rhyme words that are beyond elementary level. If it doesn't rhyme, that'd make it prose, so if thats the case, you shouldn't consider yourself a "general poet". Also, turn off the caps lock. Thirdly, read them back to yourself. I don't know your age, but your works reflect that of a gradeschooler. If you aren't one, you can elevate your techniques by using either a proper structure, or at least a rhyme scheme to keep it consistant. Otherwise, it just seems like random words put together. If you think I have no idea what I am talking about, might I suggest that you read one or two of my pieces and compare?"
Well, there you have it. If I were you, I'd take his advice. He's a bit of an ass sometimes, but he's an exceptionally good poet and songwriter. Chris apologizes for how he went about saying what he did, but he still feels you need to improve a lot.
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Black the sky, weapons fly
Lay them waste for your race
\"i hate music.\" - ~-kron
\"I listen to Guns N Roses. Nothing is too hardcore for me.\" - ~LordBlaze
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If you will permit me, I'd like to share with you a short story about Vickie Jurden so that you may understand her perspective a little better:
When your friend was still in diapers, her best friend, Betty was in the hospital with terminal cancer; rotting away with bed-sores and a big hole full of oozing pus in her back. Betty was also my best friends mother and she lived in horrible pain like that for a long time. Sometimes she had a nurse come over, but other times when it was really bad, she would go to the hospital. Eventually she got so sick that she couldn't come home any more. Every day, Vickie would go there to the hospital, wipe the sweat from Betty's head with a damp towel, rub her feet and spoon feed her, trying to get her to eat a little something because she couldn't even feed herself. I've seen Vickie wipe up her dying best friend's diarrhea and vomit and try to tell her of a better place, when no one else, not even the nurses cared. There was nothing the nurses or the doctors could do, so Betty eventually passed on to a better place.
She wrote some poetry on one of those sad days because the only happy thing was the bird that landed on the windowsill as if God was sending a message into the hospital room...
That poem was written with the cap lock on and it doesn't really rhyme or follow any formality. She does that on purpose. My guess is that's her way of saying that the humanity and the Spirit and the message is more important than iambic pentameter.
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Now, regarding Lunatock:
#1: A lesson in constructive criticism:
constructive criticism does not involve telling someone their work "reflects that of a gradeschooler."
#2: A lesson in Poetry:
All poetry must rhyme or else be considered prose? Where did that bonkers idea come from *laughing*?! They obviously don't teach Walt Whitman in highschool anymore.
Go read "Leaves of Grass" go ahead...read it...it's good stuff.
The poetry term for something like this is called "Free-verse": look it up.
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So anyway CleverConveyence I have no problem with you and I appreciate what you've done but in the end, I still think your buddy is nothing more than a cocky kid that thinks he knows a lot more than he really does.
You'll need to read the WRITER/PAINTER Poem and Song I have..I'll put it on Deviantart soon -- Thanks !
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